"What dogs? These are my children, little people with fur who make my heart
open a little wider."
-- Oprah Winfrey

"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
-- Rita Rudner

"Canada was built on dead beavers."
-- Margaret Atwood, Canadian novelist, poet National Public Radio Interview/ 9/19/1988

"There are one hundred and ninety-three living species of monkeys and apes. One hundred and ninety-two of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape self-named Homo sapiens."
-- Desmond Morris, English zoologist

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special."
-- Stephen Hawking, English physicist, educator, author

"Shall I drink from the toilet? Do I dare steal from the plate?"
-- Takeoff on Eliot's The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, with thanks to the unknown author.

"Ye shall not possess any beast, my dear sisters, except only a cat."
-- The Ancren Riewle (Nun's Rule)

"A meow massages the heart."
-- Stuart McMillan

"Rub a cat's paws with butter and it will never leave home."
-- Folk Remedy

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."
-- Woodrow Wilson

"A piece of grass a day keeps the vet away"
-- Unknown Dog

"Love to eat them mousies,
Mousies what I love to eat.
Bite they little heads off...
Nibble on they tiny feet."
-- B. Kliban

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber

"The difference between cats and dogs is, dogs come when they are called, cats take a message and get back to you."
-- Unknown

"The more people I meet, the more I like my cat."
-- Unknown

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?"
-- Unknown

"No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens."
-- Abraham Lincoln

"All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it."
-- Samuel Butler

"But he's so annoying.Holy this and holy that..."
-- Catwoman

"Cats are independent, by which I mean smart."
-- Dave Barry

"Cats rule and dogs drool!"
-- Sassy

"Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse."
-- Heinlein

"He disappeared, like the cat in that Russian story."
-- Chekov

"The cat was created when the lion sneezed."
-- Arab Myth

"CAT (n): 1. Furry keyboard cover 2. Alarm clock"
-- Unknown

"Here's a thought: Does the Cheshire cats drink evaporated milk?"
-- Unknown

"A nature lover is a person who, when treed by a bear, enjoys the view."
-- Unknown

"A marvelous creature. A model of specialization... Who else could suck an ant up his nose and enjoy it?"
-- About anteaters, "B.C." strip by Johnny Hart

"And now a thought provoking question: When a cow laughs, does milk come out her nose? "
-- Unknown

"Animals have these advantages over man: They have no theologians to instruct them, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills."
-- Voltaire

"Animals in different countries have different expressions just as the people in different countries differ in expression."
-- Gertrude Stein

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too."
-- Samuel Butler

"All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it -- and they do enjoy it as much as man and other circumstances will allow."
-- Samuel Butler

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want"
-- Joseph Wood Krutch

"It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, Even a blind chicken finds a few grains of corn now and then."
-- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marrying actress Julia Roberts, 1994

"I know at last what distinguishes man from animals:financial worries."
-- Romain Roland

"Rambunctious, rumbustious, delinquent dogs become angelic when sitting."
-- Dr. Ian Dunbar

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers

"All trees have bark.
All dogs bark.
Therefore, all dogs are trees.
The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree."
-- Unknown

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. "
-- August Strindberg

"A dog is a dog except when he is facing you. Then he is Mr. Dog."
-- Haitian Farmer

Whoever said "let sleeping dogs lie" didn't sleep with dogs.
-- Unknown

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
-- Albert Schweitzer

"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
-- Colette

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
-- Hippolyte Taine

"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul."
-- Jean Cocteau

The smallest feline is a masterpiece."
-- Leonardo da Vinci

"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate in their object-relations."
-- Sigmund Freud

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole."
-- Roger Caras

"...Pomeranians speak only to Poodles and Poodles speak only to God."
-- Charles Kuralt on "48 Hours"

"Heaven will not ever Heaven be unless my cats are there to welcome me."
-- Epitaph in Pet Cemetery