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Animal Quotes 7 of 12
"The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much."
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner."
"If you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, you know it got help getting up there."
"Study hard, and you might grow up to be President. But let's face it: Even then, you'll never make as much money as your dog."
"[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard
through the cat door."
"For a dyed-in-the-wool author, nothing is as dead as a book once it is
written. . . . She is
rather like a cat whose kittens have grown up."
"Prose books are the show dogs I breed and sell to support my cat.
"I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man
indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the manmade sound
equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."
"The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn from the
"I've always thought a hotel ought to offer optional small animals. . . . I
mean a cat to
sleep on your bed at night, or a dog of some kind to act pleased when you
come in. You
ever notice how a hotel room feels so lifeless?"
"The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five-pound note."
"The Owl and the Pussy-Cat."
"Winners are different. They're a different breed of cat." -- Byron Nelson
"Propaganda is a soft weapon; hold it in your hands too long, and it will
move about like
a snake, and strike the other way."
"Poetry is like fish: if it's fresh, it's good; if it's stale, it's bad; and
if you're not certain, try it
on the cat."
"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat
"Kill the snake of doubt in your soul, crush the worms of fear in your heart
will move out of your way."
"You know those two-foot downhill putts with a break? I'd rather see a
"Don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden: your Father had an accident there; he
was put in a
pie by Mrs. McGregor."
"Praises for our past triumphs are as feathers to a dead bird."
"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
"It is far easier for the proverbial camel to pass through the needle's eye,
hump and all,
than for an erstwhile colonial administration to give sound and honest
counsel of a
political nature to its liberated territory."
"[Americans] are the great Satan, the wounded snake."
"Hot weather brings out snakes and slaveholders, and I like one class of the
creatures as little as I do the other."
"The smart cat doesn't let on that he is."
"I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl."
"It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I can't see."
"It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their masters is one of perpetual boredom."
"In my house you have to talk to cats because, being ten of them, there are a lot of important things you have to say to them -- like 'Get off' and 'shut up' and things like that."
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
"You do not own a dog, the dog owns you."
"Meow is like aloha -- it can mean anything."
"The little furry buggers [Cats] are just deep, deep wells you throw all your emotions into."
"It's tough to judge cats. Here we are with our three-pound brains and 100 billion neurons packed into our skulls, trying to figure out a critter with a one to two ounce brain and perhaps 10 billion neurons."
"The tongue is a wild beast; once let it loose, it is difficult to chain."
"There is no cat 'language.' Painful as it is for us to admit, they don't need one."
"A dog is a prose, a cat is a poem."
"Researches have discovered that dogs can comprehend a vocabulary of 2,000 words, whereas cats can only comprehend 25 to 50. No one ever asks how many words researches can comprehend."
"You cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling."
"A dog is like a liberal. He wants to please everybody. A cat really doesn't need to know that everybody loves him."
"Way down deep we are all motivated by the same urges, Cats have the courage to live by them."
"The slowest barker is the surest biter."
"All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people."
"It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach.
Just get them to fly in formation."
"I once complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people did. Dad's advice? 'Margo, don't be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep.'"
"Look not a gift horse in the mouth."
"An ass loaded with gold climbs to the top of the castle."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
"The eagle never lost so much time as when he submitted to learn from the crow."
"Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit."
"Gold is the devil's fishhook."
"A poor man between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats."
"As the old cock crows, so crows the young."
"A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial."
"Kill not the goose that lays the golden eggs."
"Even the woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head and keeps pecking away until he finishes the job he starts."
"Don't count your chickens before they are hatched."
"A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead the first blow, better not strike at it."
"Birds of a feather flock together."
"An optimist is one who believes that a fly is looking for a way to get out."
"As well open an oyster without a knife, as a lawyer's mouth without a fee."
"A fox barks not when he would steal the lamb."
"The early bird catches the worm."
"If you wish the dog to follow you, feed him."
"It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks."
"Let sleeping dogs lie."
"Every dog has his day -- but the nights are reserved for the cats."
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
"A borrowed cat catches no mice."
"The biggest dog has been a pup."
"Pooh just is."
"The mother eagle teaches her little ones to fly by making their nest so uncomfortable that they are forced to leave it and commit themselves to the unknown world of air outside. And just so does our God to us. He stirs up our comfortable nests, and pushes us over the edge of them, and we are forced to use our wings to save ourselves from fatal falling. Read your trials in this light, and see if you cannot begin to get a glimpse of their meaning. Your wings are being developed."
"Laws are like cobwebs which catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through."
"Even brute beasts and wandering birds do not fall into the same traps or net twice."
"Bees are not a busy as we think they are. They just cannot buzz any slower."
"The cat loves fish, but hates wet feet."
"The cat lets Man support her. But unlike the dog, she is no hand-licker. Furthermore, unlike Man's other good friend, the horse, the cat is no sweating serf of Man. The only labor she condescends to perform is to catch mice and rats, and that's fun."
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