"Mankind's true moral test, its fundamental test (which lies deeply buried from view), consists of its attitude towards those who are at its mercy: animals. And in this respect mankind has suffered a fundamental debacle, a debacle so fundamental that all others stem from it."
-- Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, 1984

"You can put wings on a pig, but you don't make it an eagle."
-- Bill Clinton, US 42nd president Describing a modified piece of legislation, 1996.

"LAWSUIT, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out as a sausage." -- Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

"You can only milk a cow so long, and then you're left holding the pail."
-- Hank Aaron

"The cow knows not what her tail is worth till she has lost it."
-- George Herbert

"Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - - these are strictly confined to man; he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed."
-- Mark Twain

"He was so learned that he could name a horse in nine languages; so ignorant that he bought a cow to ride on."
-- Benjamin Franklin

"Keep a cow, and the milk won't have to be watered but once."
-- Josh Billings

"The bluebird carries the sky on his back."
-- Henry David Thoreau

"Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."
-- Harper Lee, "To Kill a Mockingbird,"

"They say a reasonable amount 'o fleas is good fer a dog -- keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog, mebbe."
-- Edward Westcott (1846 - 1898) US novelist, banker

"If you can dream it, you can do it. Always remember this whole thing was started by a mouse."
-- Walt Disney

"Anyone who has invented a better mousetrap, or the contemporary equivalent, can expect to be harassed by strangers demanding that you read their unpublished manuscripts or undergo the humiliation of public speaking, usually on remote Midwestern campuses."
-- Barbara Ehrenreich, US writer

"If a man can write a better book, preach a better sermon, or make a better mouse-trap than his neighbour, though he build his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If happiness truly consisted in physical ease and freedom from care, the happiest individual would not be either a man or a woman; but an American cow."
-- William Lyon Phelps

"Don't, like the cat, try to get more out of an experience than there is in it. The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid."
-- Mark Twain

"CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle."
-- Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

"DOG, n. A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition."
-- Ambrose Bierce The Devil's Dictionary, 1911.

"When a small child . . . I thought that success spelled happiness. I was wrong, happiness is like a butterfly which appears and delights us for one brief moment, but soon flits away."
-- Anna Pavlova, (1881 - 1931) Russian ballerina

"There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog." waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there.
-- Lee Iacocca, US auto business executive

"You learn in this business: It you want a friend, get a dog."
-- Carl Icahn, US auto business executive

"We are closer to the ants than to butterflies. Very few people can endure much leisure."
-- Gerald Brenan, English writer

"A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion."
-- Washington Irving, (1783 - 1859) US short-story writer, essayist

"Telling a teen-ager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath."
-- Arnold Glasow

"In a way, I'd rather ride down the street on a camel than give what is sometimes called an in-depth interview. I'd rather ride down the street on a camel nude. In a snowstorm. Backwards."
-- Warren Beatty, US actor
On his attitude toward the press

"I have eyes like those of a dead pig."
-- Marlon Brando

"I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"
-- Robin Williams, about his body hair.

"I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet."
-- David Niven

"I like dogs better [than people]. They give you unconditional love. They either lick your face or bite you, but you always know where they're coming from. With people, you never know which ones will bite. The difference between dogs and men is that you know where dogs sleep at night."
-- Greg Louganis

"If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside him."
-- Drew Barrymore (1998)

"It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up."
-- Muhammad Ali

"Anyone who has accustomed himself to regard the life of any living creature as worthless is in danger of arriving also at the idea of worthless human lives."
-- Albert Schweitzer

"The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated."
-- Gandhi (** See really cute shirts, magnets, hats and more with this quote. **)

"If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men."
-- St. Francis of Assisi

"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."
-- cowboy wisdom

"If people were superior to animals, they'd take better care of the world."
-- Winnie the Pooh

"When the Man waked up he said,
'What is Wild Dog doing here?'
And the Woman said,
'His name is not Wild Dog any more,
but the First Friend,
because he will be our friend
for always and always and always.'"
-- Rudyard Kipling

"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing."
-- Lonzo Idolswine

"The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost ever other animals...it's also the reason they hate birds."
-- KC Buffington

"When you are looking a cat acts like a princess, but the minute they think you are not looking, a cat acts like a fool."
-- KC Buffington

"I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think, 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking,' and he'd look at me like he was saying, 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to.'"
-- Fred Jungclaus

"It's not easy being green."
-- Kermit the Frog

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want"
-- Joseph Wood Krutch

"If God created man in His own image, you've got to wonder: in whose image did He create the nobler cat?"
-- Unknown

"The dog barks backward without getting up
I can remember when
he was a pup."
-- Robert Frost

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience."--
-- Woodrow Wilson

"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater...suggest that he wear a tail."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey

"Which is more beautiful--feline movement or feline stillness?"
-- Elizabeth Hamilton

"You may own a cat, but cannot govern one."
--Kate Sanborn

"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
-- Tay Hohoff

"Two cats can live as cheaply as one, and their owner has twice as much fun."
-- Lloyd Alexander

"Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him."
-- Lynn Hollyn

"When I play with my cat, who knows if I am not a pastime to her more than she to me?"
-- Montaigne,16th century French essayist

"Cat's Motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it."
-- Unknown

"During the blizzard we had three feet of snow - and the pigs are only 18 inches tall. We had to dig tunnels so they could get out."
-- Dale Riffle, who, along with Jim Brewer, maintains a haven for unwanted Vietnamese Pot-Bellied Pigs in West Virginia, 1996

"Always behave like a duck -- keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath."
-- Jacob Braude

"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
-- James Bryant Conant

"When old dogs bark, it's time to watch out."